A client and I are in a session together. He or she begins to whisper when the conversation turns to explaining to others why they come to therapy. Often times, their voice turns softer, they look at me with lost eyes, and then begin almost desperately trying to justify every reason why they are sitting in front of me. It often feels like a slight mixture of fear, confusion, and desperation. Fear of judgment or having made the wrong choice, confusion because they are better now than when they started coming (but is this just because I am not as upset about “that thing” anymore?), and desperation because they want me to tell them that they are here for the right reasons and help comfort them in validating their choice.
Believe you me, a few years ago, and sometimes even today, I hear the above conversation, and the little voice in my head begins to panic and creates a cocktail that looks really similar to the above remedy. I too, doubt myself, my choices, my work, my actions, all at certain times … Why? Because I am a warm-blooded human who is scared like the rest of us, who wants to be sure that it makes sense and that “they” won’t “say” X, Y or Z about little old ME.
Well, here’s the honest to God truth: there is no such thing as “they.” “They” are YOU, and ME, and our NEIGHBORS, our FRIENDS. “They” are the next person who is scared, confusednand desperate.
So my answer to why do I go to therapy at times is this: “Because when I go and see Mark, I leave there feeling like for the last hour, I could just be me. I could talk about myself and how I felt, I could have him lovingly help me to see how what I am thinking or feeling or doing is or isn’t helping me and my relationships. When I do go to therapy, I feel heard, I feel valued, I feel insightful, open, willing, dedicated, determined, loving, happy, accepting, joy-filled, honored, excited, hopeful, eager, and most importantly and frankly, just BETTER.” I often find that the people to judge or ask me why I pay to go, or tell me their opinion as to why it’s not a good thing — “they” — those people, are often times the ones who need the most love and support and, yep, I’m gonna say it: THERAPY.
Do what you do for you and the world will be so rad!