To the Men: How to Keep the Love Alive

posted by DCO-Admin | Taged as - husband, love, marriage, relationship advice, relationships, wife

11 September 2015 / 0 comments

Here are some thoughts on keeping the relationship strong, from a man, for a man.

Most important is to make time for both of you. Leave the kids at home, the thoughts of work out of it and reconnect with your better half as often as you can.

Another important aspect of relationships is to pay attention to the individual self. While you may take on many or all of your significant other’s personalities, hobbies or goals, remember to do what makes you happy. Do things you enjoy. Just because you are committed doesn’t mean you have to completely change who you are.

Always reassure her that you love her, even if you think it is obvious or that you feel the relationship is in a great place. Try telling her that you love her and not only doing so right before bed or before hanging up the phone. A random text message about your love for her or what you want to do to her or with her that night is a nice change. REASSURE HER! (more…)

Loving Me: A Manifesto

posted by DCO-Admin | Taged as - beauty, love, self-love

16 June 2015 / 0 comments

By Lori Jackson

Ladies, we have to talk. Heart to heart, woman to woman—what are we doing to ourselves?

I, for instance, tend to abuse my body when I am not feeling well or am hurting. I eat my way through any experience and the very first thing that goes when I am upset is my self-care. I laugh at my exercise routine when I feel depressed or sad. Yikes, what the heck!

We go on these crazy diets—soup diet, carb-free, paleo, blah blah blibbidy blah—depriving ourselves of food we love to…what? Lose those last couple pesky pounds that will inevitably return when we can’t handle the unreasonable diet restrictions anymore?

What if we supported each other, loved each other, complimented one another and spent time together instead of isolating? What if we took some time to nurture ourselves and told ourselves every day, “Hey, I love you!” Whoa.

Continue reading on elephant journal.

Photo via flickr.

10 ways to be your best YOU

posted by DCO-Admin | Taged as - happiness, love, self-love

2 June 2015 / 0 comments

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget what really makes you happy in life. Here are 10 simple ways to embrace your life every day and be the best you.

1. Be honest. No one will know you if you pretend to be someone else, so be you and let them love you from the get go.

2. Sincerity goes a long way. The more sincere you are the more likely people are to trust you and believe in you. Sincerity not only increases peoples beliefs in you, but it is an aspiring attribute that most of us want to achieve.

3. Love without fear. Learn your worst-case scenario. What would be the worst that could happen in any given situation? Now, look at the reality of what would happen to you if this came true. Would you still survive? Would it still hurt? Sure. But you would/will/and are going to be OK, no matter what happens, so go for it, and live it.

4. Laugh. Make a point as often as you can (I recommend daily), to do something that makes you laugh. It’s contagious and increases the body’s natural endorphins.

5. Embrace yourself wherever you are. We all want something more. We all have those internal goals we try to achieve, but just love what you have now for it was something you once hoped for.

6. Surround yourself by goodness. It is no mistake that when we go on vacation, we are sure to go somewhere that makes us feel good. Why not live this regularly? If you have people around who are not allowing this for you, create a space where they can live, and allow yourself to fill their space with others who are good. YOU deserve goodness.

7. Be kind. Be kind to yourself, your neighbors, your friends, the grouchy person next to you on the train. Be kind … it is contagious.

8. Remember your dreams. Dreams provide hope, and hope is a powerful phenomenon. You CAN achieve anything you want to, because you want to. Let yourself dream — it just may come true.

9. Be rich in love … with YOU. The more you love you, the more the world will love you. We love to love those who love. So give yourself a little hug, show yourself you are worth it, and “they” will follow.

10. Smile! Shere is nothing in the world that reflects our mirror better than our smile. The world is your mirror — frown at it, and you will be frowned at, smile at it, and it will say CHEESE!

sexy marriage - Denver Counseling Options

10 ways to keep a sexy marriage with kids crawling on you

posted by DCO-Admin | Taged as - healthy marriage, love, marriage, parents, relationship advice, relationships, sexy, sexy marriage

6 April 2015 / 0 comments

1. Say I love you.
Everyone needs love and needs to know they are loved. Tell each other that you love one another. Don’t forget the words and their importance. You may think, “Oh, he knows I love him,” but even if he does, TELL HIM AGAIN. If you think, “He hasn’t told me in so long, why should I tell him?” you’re stuck in a power struggle. Let go of your end of the rope, stop playing tug of war, and tell your partner how important he is to you. You just might be surprised. If your partner doesn’t respond, it’s OK. You did your part; keep doing it.

2. Pass little notes.
We all want to feel special. When we get little quick notes from people who are important to us, we feel special, we feel loved, and we feel cared for. Don’t let this giddiness of life slip away. You can express yourself in so many ways when you leave a note. Draw a picture, kiss the paper with lipstick, tell them how cute their butt it; it doesn’t matter. Just pass a little message to let them know you are thinking about them.

3. Keep it fun.
Not only is love the hardest thing you will ever do, but if you ensure that you enjoy it, the likelihood of its success is much greater. Couples who focus on joy and laughter tend to have higher levels of intimacy, joy and a greater ability to work through difficult things. Make sure you allow for the silly moments. Be sure you include fun activities that are outside of the box that keep the joy and laughter in your relationship. If you can’t think of anything, remember back to what you enjoyed as a child: Twister, Connect Four, put-put, 20 questions, hiking, bike rides. Keep it simple and pleasurable; don’t try too hard.

4. Date.
Even if you have been married for 30 years, knowing your partner on a private level is imperative. Go on a date, pick each other up, bring flowers (both men and women), make out in the car, go to the drive-in, have dessert after the kids go to bed. Whatever you need to do to make special time for one another, do it. Date and don’t just talk about your children. Talk about your fantasies and dreams. They are ever-changing, so keep each other informed and enjoy them together.

5. Have a safe person to vent to so that your spouse doesn’t get it all.
We all have a list of annoying things that our spouses do. I am sure your spouse can name half if not more of your list. The key is to have a safe person you can vent about this list to, who won’t dislike your spouse, and who will love and support you, tell you that you are totally right, and let you get it out. When we keep it in, the irritation adds up, and our spouse gets the brunt of our irritation. This makes for a difficult marriage as it is hard to hear all of your flaws all of the time. Find another outlet and lighten the load.

6. Keep Intimacy in your marriage.
Having sex is the closest two people can possibly get to one another. Without it, we miss something that is very important in a marriage and a partnership. Even when it’s scary and/or you don’t have time or you don’t like the way you look, make a point to push through the fear, concern and time constraint to be intimate with your spouse. Most couples are unsure how their spouse becomes interested or can “get in the mood,” so just ask him or her. Spend time getting to know what your partner enjoys. Learn what feels good for you, tell your partner and ask for what you need. Keep in mind that there are many reasons why couples have a difficult time having sex, but the primary source is medical ailments. If this is the case for you and your spouse, talk with him about how and what you can do to maintain closeness while effectively working with a medical condition.

7. Know how your partner feels loved.
Understanding the important things that make your partner smile is key to a successful and fulfilling relationship. First and foremost, ask him. “Honey, if I could do anything to make you happy, what would you want from me?” If your spouse is anything like my husband, he’ll will get a smirk on his face, say several inappropriate things, and then you’ll have to ask again. BUT… ask again, with a sincere smile. Tell him you want to bring him joy, you want to do things that are important, and you want to know what those things are.

8. Take the 5 Love Languages test.
Gary Chapman wrote “The 5 Love Languages,” which is an outstanding book on relationships and knowing what you’re dealing with. Learn your partner’s love language (Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Act of Service, Physical Touch, Quality Time). Knowing what your makes your partner feel loved is not only enlightening, but empowering! Being able to take yourself out of the experience and think about your partner. Do something that makes them feel good. I know it’s hard to do (especially when you feel like you’re the only one doing it) but you will see the response, it will feel good and you will be surprised at what comes out of it.

9. Get a little closer.
Spend time together! We all need space, time and connection. Give it to yourselves. Hire a sitter, employ a grandparent or friend, do a trade with another family who has children, and worst case (this is the last option) put your children to bed early, and create a date experience after bedtime. The key is to escape your normal and experience a non-stressful, relaxing time with your partner. Find a way. Make it your No. 1 priority and let the connection begin! ☺

10. Don’t be afraid of showing intimacy in front of your children.
Model for your children what a loving and secure relationship looks like. Keep it PG and appropriate, but they too need to know you love one another. They too, need to see what to reach for, mimic, and have in their relationships as they grow older. You are their mold, fill it up with joy, goodness, honest conversations about difficult things, openness, and integrity — imagine how you want their relationship to look, and do that!

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Image credit FreeDigitalPhotos.net.